Oh yes, another good thing about today. I got lots of compliments on my hair! Never fails to make me uberly happy!

Two women who I'll soon be working with asked me if I had kids. I said "noooo". They said "Married?" Again "No". Then one said "Well we saw your ring and just assumed you were married". That would be the point of the ring gals! Make people think Im taken and keep those guys away! LOL! I think I have gone through all the good ones at my current location and now only the rejects are coming out of the woodwork. So the big bling bling did its work again. Love the power of jewelry!

Im having a difficult time convincing myself to finish school. After I didnt get hired by Community Services for the Deaf bc my "receptive" skills suck, it seems even more pointless than before. So what Ill have a little paper that says I have an associates degree? Im not using it. It got a letter yesterday saying that my application for graduation failed bc they moved the one freakin class I need back to fall, which is in the next school year, so now I cant even just walk through graduation. Not that I was going to anyway bc graduations are pointless wastes of 3 hours of your life. 3 hours that I could be sleeping or something else equally important. I also got my grade reports back saying that one class I have an incomplete in which Im assuming is bc I didnt do the 2 papers for the class but Im not really sure. So maybe I should call and see.... but its just so hard to convince myself I care! If it were my own money I'd be wasting I would say I dont care. Screw it and just go on and forget my 1 and 3/4 class I have left and my incomplete class. Who gives a damn. The answer though is my parents, and since they are ones who shelled out the 8 grand for me to go to college (yes I go to a very cheap school and the education I got from it shows just how cheap it is apparantly since I am the top 1% of my class and can not get hired for my major) I will finish. But I will not be happy about it!

Its hard to have faith when things dont work out the way you planned. Anyone ever notice how easy it is to be a good Christian or faithful person in general when everything is perfect and working out jsut how you want it? Then when hard times come along it unravels. Usually its the opposite for me. Usually difficult times make me more faithful, but this whole waiting for things to fall into place and trying to get it to the point where it can is suffocating me. It is literally exhausting. I almost wish I was one of those people who need a lot of money cuz at least then I would know I had to work toward something. But Im not. Im content with simple things as long as they are nice and clean. I dont need all the fancy things in life (obviously since Im not getting a house phone (just using my cell) and just using the free 13 channels from the apartments). Im happy just being able to support myself and live comfortably and most importantly the way that I want to to live, and I know that God will always provide for me so I dont have anything to worry about. But timing is crushing me. Guess Im just not good at being patient still. I dont think I ever will. Darn Cancer nature.

Im getting really tired of searching for a job. I know Im probably just a spoiled brat and Im used to getting things thrown at me, but enough is enough. How long does it take for normal people to find jobs? And Ive turned down two. Something inside me says that my standards are too high, but then I think, this is ME here, my standards are not gonna be lowered. I deserve the best I can get and Im not going to be a bus driver, VISA salesperson, or be gone from my house 3 weeks of the month (no offense to the busdrivers, VISA people or those workaholics.... I never rode the bus, my VISA is my worst enemy and nothing that ends in holic has ever brought much joy). So yeah, I cant wait to move but who knows how quickly that will happen since obviously Im not gonna be making a ton of money and I'd like to pay of my 2200 that I owe on my furniture still, but there is no chance that will happen as I am a compulsive spender when its not imperitive that I save my money.

I have to keep reminding myself why Im doing this anyway. In this I mean moving to Dayton. It seems I am the only person in the world who likes Dayton. Its there or Columbus and I loathe Columbus (sorry to you insanely obesse gay smokers who have overrun my city's capital but I dont want to be bombared by all that night and day). I keep reminding myself that everything (other than the job) has fallen into place. The area is exactly where I saw myself living, the apartment is the exact place I saw myself in, and even shit with NOT being able to get hired as an interpreter is turning out to be a blessing. In my heart I obviously didnt want to do it anyway... it was almost a relief when I couldnt pass all the sections of the test (completely due to my school's inability to provide inclusive education). It was like an excuse to NOT HAVE to do my major. Kinda like a rope was cut and I was set free from my burden. Maybe I sabotaged myself, who knows.

But anyway, so much has fallen into place that the job section HAS to! Why else would every other peice fit so perfectly and then I have to drive an hour to work? It wouldnt. So very soon Im going to find a great job that I love and pays at least decent and then I will move and start the next chapter of my life. And you know what, even though its not going to be easy, its going to be great because it is my life and I would never live a life that is anything short of what I had dreamed for myself.